How to Get Off the Self-Focus Rollercoaster

This past weekend, I spent several hours staring into the mirror.

Now, lest you think I’m crazy, I should explain: this was part of a self-portrait assignment for an art class I’m taking.

The project was meant to hone my ability to capture detail as an artist. And so, I dutifully leaned in and squinted at every line, contour and texture on my face, trying to mimic it in graphite.

But as I took glance after glance into the mirror, I found myself riding a mental rollercoaster.

One minute I would perk up, noting: “My hair looks pretty good today.” But exactly two seconds later, I would deflate, thinking: “Wait, when did I get that line on my forehead?!”

Focusing on myself had me feeling good one moment and mortified the next.

And I wonder—can you relate?

When we live focused on self, we often end up riding a self-image rollercoaster. We rise to the heights of self-confidence when we excel at something—only to sink into self-consciousness when we fail (or go unnoticed) a short time later.

But whenever we find ourselves here, Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 can help us. They teach us two practical ways to break free from the rollercoaster of self-focus.

Remember your new self

In verses 17-18, Paul says, “if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ…”

Before we accepted Christ, we were defined by our failures and our own efforts.

We wore some labels that puffed us up, like “the smart one,” “the self-made man,” or “the good girl.”

While at the same time, we wore other labels that shamed us, like “addict,” “cheat” or “easy.”

But Paul tells us that—because we are in Christ—we are now new creations.

Our old labels haven’t simply peeled off and fallen to the floor (as if no one need know the truth about us), they don’t apply at all anymore. We are entirely different people!

You see, our new selves have…

No reason for shame: As Paul says a little later (in verse 21), “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

All the sins that used to define us—“addict,” “cheat,” “easy,” “fill in the blank”—God peeled them off us and placed them on innocent Jesus. He took the shame and weight of our sins to the cross and in exchange gave us a new defining label to wear: “the righteousness of God.”

By God’s grace, we now stand eternally clothed in the righteousness of Christ. So we have no reason for shame.

No reason for pride: Did you notice that right after Paul proclaimed that we are new creations, he said: “All this is from God…”? The point is: We did not save ourselves. We did not make ourselves righteous or earn it in any way. Anything good in us is the grace of God.

So just as we no longer have reason to view ourselves lowly because of our failings, we no longer have reason to view ourselves highly (and pridefully) when we do well. It’s God’s accomplishment, not ours.

A new defining relationship: Because of Jesus, we no longer have to seek our next confidence boost in the approval of others. Instead, get to live in the unchanging acceptance of God.

Paul says that God “reconciled us to himself through Christ.” And this is no small thing. Our need to be seen, accepted and approved of has been ultimately satisfied through Christ, in God.

So what does all this mean for us? It means we can be free from the rollercoaster.

When we remember our new self, we no longer experience the same self-image highs and lows. We no longer feel as puffed up when we succeed. We no longer feel as devastated when we fail. We can walk through the good and the bad with a steady self-image because we know…

we are not our failures—in Christ, we are the very righteousness of God
all this is God’s doing—we can take no credit
and because Christ has reconciled us to our heavenly Father, He will love us no matter what.

It also means that action #2 is possible.

2. Forget yourself and live for Jesus.

When we’re trapped on the self-focus rollercoaster, we think an awful lot about how we represent ourselves to others. This makes sense. After all, their approval can earn us our next self-confidence high.

And so actions, words—and even outfits—are carefully curated to appeal to people. “Like me,” they implore.

But when we’re living in the steady self-image based on God’s unchanging love, we can forget ourselves and live for Jesus. In fact, Paul says we are called to do this.

Verses 18-20 continue with him saying, “…God … gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.”

No longer do we enter rooms merely representing ourselves. Now, we are representatives of Christ Himself.

And in every encounter we have, He wants to make His appeal through us: “Be reconciled to God.”

So in those moments where we find ourselves drowning in self-focus—“what will people think of me? How am I coming across?”—we can intentionally look away from ourselves and focus on being Christ’s representative.

Instead of worrying about how we’re coming across, we can pray Jesus might come across well through us. Instead of making the appeal, “like me!” we can ask God to implore, “Be reconciled to God!” through all we do and say.

What Jesus has done for us, He wants to do for others.

We can be a part of this eternal work—and find greater freedom ourselves—if only we’ll turn away from our own reflections and let God reflect His life-changing love through us.

This devotion is based on one of the Scriptures from my reading plan: “Identity in Christ” To receive a copy of the reading plan (and future reading plans), sign up for the email list below. Hope you’ll follow along!

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